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I’m more than two years alcohol-free, and last weekend I thought about drinking again.

I went to a wedding solo and wondered if alcohol would help me have more fun.

But I’ve learned not to believe everything my brain tells me.

I challenged myself to define what fun means to me.

Is it fun to numb my senses to avoid uncomfortable feelings? Or could I actually handle the temporary discomfort?

Perhaps fun is more about connecting with others, listening, and being present.

I decided having fun included the awkward moments on the dance floor, feeling anxious and knowing nothing was wrong, taking silly pictures, leaving when I was ready, and remembering it all the next day.

Fun to me is experiencing life exactly as it is.

Plus, it gives me confidence knowing I can handle any situation and any emotion without an external fix.

I used to think life wouldn’t be fun without alcohol. Now, I’m living my best life without it.

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