How to handle family gatherings
You don’t have to rely on others to behave a certain way to feel good – it’s an inside job. I can show you how.
This time of year can put a magnifying glass on the challenges we’re already facing. Whether it’s family, finances, your weight, or an impossibly busy schedule – everything seems to intensify during the holidays.
When you resist or fight reality, you’re fighting with something you don’t have control over and you’ll lose that fight every time. Practice acceptance instead.
That rule book we carry around for how other people should behave so we can feel better – it doesn’t work. What if you dropped it, and let people be exactly who they are? Focus on what you can control: yourself, your response, and making the best life you can.
Often our inner critic is so familiar that we don’t even notice how much it disempowers us. We must learn to stand up for ourselves because it can turn into an inner abuse.
Our brains naturally scan for what’s wrong or bad to keep us alive. It’s easier to notice and remember our losses than our wins.
When you can take responsibility for your feelings, you stop having a long list of things other people need to do to make you feel good. You stop trying to control or change how they behave, and start changing what’s actually changeable – your own life.
The negative emotion stops feeling wrong, and you see it for what it is: a normal part of being a human. No matter where you are, life will always be a mixed bag of emotions.
It’s time to stop giving someone else control over your happiness. It’s time to stop doubting yourself and feeling like you’re not good enough.
Your self-talk patterns aren’t just harmless observations; they’re the drivers of your emotional life. Develop an inner BS detector for your own sake.