Other People Are Not Responsible For Your Feelings
Think of someone you believe is responsible for your negative feelings.
How specifically are they making you feel?
Why do you think they have the power to control your feelings this way?
Consider this: you feel a certain way about this person based on how you’re choosing to think about them.
I know you have a list of things they did that may be terrible or wrong. I know you have good reasons for your thoughts about this person.
You can keep your thoughts the same, but I also want you to consider how your current way of thinking is making you feel.
If you’ve been thinking the same way about someone for a long time, you may believe your thoughts about them are the truth. That there’s no other way to think about that person.
You always have a choice.
Consider how your commitment to thinking this way affects YOUR emotional health, time, and energy.
See your thoughts as truly optional by getting curious.
Ask how are my current thoughts helping me? Why am I so attached to believing them? Where else do these thoughts show up in my life?
You can keep thinking and feeling however you want, but I want you to see it as your choice.
When you can take responsibility for your feelings, you stop having a long list of things other people need to do to make you feel good. You stop trying to control or change how they behave, and start changing what’s actually changeable – your own life. Plus, you genuinely feel better more of the time because you’re not giving someone else control over your emotions.